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The natural development of a person is to grow older, wiser, build connections, assimilate into the world… But what if all this time you only see your age jump upwards and nothing else changes? One day you’ll be covered with wrinkles, but annoyingly remain in a time warp of your 18 year old self. Or worse… gradually skin off into some unhuman (..inhuman?) creature.
For quite a while, I’ve been filling my room with favourite things, movies, books… thinking that they define me and make me an individual, but strip them away and what am I?? When I’m outside I put myself in clothes I like but it’s not that they represent me but the opposite – I fill THEIR shoes, and they are the window dressing to disguise the fact that I’m not even a person. Same effect as gussying up your tree in vibrant costumes and sending it out for a walk.
I don’t mind because right now I just hope to be someone useful. I want to get rid of all ridiculous phobias to be able to step out, legitimately help out and not be a burden, but for now I will start small. Anyone who needs help for anything that doesn’t require too much brain power (errands? buying stuff, making things, etc), you can ask me.
Contact XXXX-XXXX for SG’s #1 dedicated and helpful errand runner, thanks.
(NOT a joke! You can really contact me to run errands if you have my number in your phone)
Filed under: Uncategorized
I’m not sure how to start this off. Just certain doubts I have of psychologists (which I feel the urgent need to ramble on about at 5.24 in the morning @_@).
1. Some of them just enjoy ramming their patients into neat little boxes
And with this clever solution their job is done. Doesn’t matter if you’re having to contort your limbs to fit inside; case closed. There was this psychologist on a weight-watch reality show who was just like that, and he severely annoyed me. He’s probably one of those bad eggs, but he was chosen to work on TV with real cases after all, so that must say something about his credentials. His patient was someone who enjoyed eating, ate a hell lot and was obese. His idea of it was that she was eating to fill some void in her heart. …easy, isn’t it. He was pretty overbearing about this too, not merely SUGGESTING the possibility but forcing it down her throat. Well, I’m not sure if you would take my word for it but I wish I could show you the clip. I did not expect psychologists to be such dictatorial jerks. So anyway, the episode ended splendidly with her crying about the void that her dead mother left in her heart and how she was overeating to compensate for that. How convinced are viewers, though?
2. I want you to look happy, happy, happy
Before I start: I am a very cynical and bitter person and my point of view is always, always tainted by this. When I went volunteering, I noticed that there were two general types of social service providers – one who genuinely cares about the individuals he is working with, and one who only concerns himself with the superficial rah-rah. It’s all about maintaining the appearance of fun and happiness. And they are super sensitive to the presence of slight disharmony and someone appearing out of place. Threat needs to be neutralised. NOW. Bottom line is, I feel that the actual enjoyment of participants doesn’t matter as much to them as whether they LOOK like they’re enjoying themselves. It really bugs me…
I am also reminded of Rorschach’s prison psychologist in Watchmen. He’s one of those who exude fake positivity, and fake positivity is all he cares about to hear from his patients. He doesn’t wish to understand them, and of course, didn’t realise when Rorschach was simply mechanically feeding him the healthy and positive responses he desires, only thinking about how close he was to adding this societal creep to his statistics of successes.
Well, that was only until Rorschach broke him. @_@
3. Just plain irresponsible
School counsellors who do crazy incomprehensible things, compromising the family’s interests in their fail attempts to forge a bond with the client, and achieving no win on either end. =.= Reprehensible.